You may or may not have noticed my silence for the past few weeks. Part of the reason is because I have been very busy working on book 2, Daisies Last Forever. The deadline is fast approaching.

The other reason is that I have been dealing with something of a medical crisis. About 2 months ago, I found a lump in my breast. I put off going to the doctor because I was hoping it would go away on its own. It didn’t. Though I was scared of what the news might be, I was more frightened to leave it alone, so I made an appointment with my doctor.

I figured I would get in the office and she would try to find it and would think I was a crazy lady because she wouldn’t be able to feel anything. I was wrong. I had a mammogram and nothing showed up on there. Ladies, please do BOTH self-exams and mammograms. The ultrasound revealed two masses, one about 1 cm and the other a few millimeters. Both small. The one looked like it might not be contained but growing into the breast tissue.

I had a needle biopsy – not fun – and the results showed the masses were benign. Great rejoicing in our household. My surgeon (whom I love, BTW) suggested removing the masses so I didn’t have to worry about them growing or changing and I wouldn’t have to have repeat ultrasounds. I wanted to wait until October when my calendar cleared up a bit, but he suggested having them removed as soon as possible.

On Friday, I underwent a lumpectomy. Anesthesia and I have never gotten along very well. I had a difficult time waking up and had some anxiety. Like wanting to rip my skin from my body. But the procedure went well, the doctor felt he got both of the lumps and the margins looked good.

He called on Monday with the pathology report. I guess when they take out masses, they double check them. They turned out to be malignant.

I have breast cancer.

I spoke to the doctor on the phone and much of what he told me after the diagnosis went over my head. I do have lobular carcinoma and it can spread. I had an MRI yesterday to check the other breast. Everyone talks about how they freak out in the MRI machine, but I was able to lay face down. I closed my eyes, prayed and planned Brian’s graduation party. They gave me headphones to listen to the radio, but I couldn’t hear it over the noise of the machine. The technician said the noise would be like jackhammers and she wasn’t kidding.

I’m in a holding pattern right now. On Friday, Doug and I will meet with the surgeon and I should get the results of my MRI then. I believe he mentioned day surgery to remove some lymph nodes to see of the cancer has spread. That would likely happen next week. We would also need results of some genetic tests, hormone tests and some protein test. Once we have those and I meet with both the medical and radiation oncologists, we should formulate a course of treatment. In all likelihood, I will at least need radiation.

The Lord has been so good to me through all of this. I have a peace I cannot explain except that he has given it to me. His fingerprints are all over these events – I felt the lump, my surgeon was quick to act and persistent that it be taken care of. He has provided a wonderful support system – my husband and children, friends, my church, my family, everyone in my life.

There is a purpose behind this time in my life. There are three desired outcomes I am praying for: that my personal faith may be strengthened, that my testimony would reach many for Christ, and that I will be a cancer survivor. I ask you to join me in these prayers.